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a journal without a moral
2007-11-16 08:53 pm (UTC)
omg i'm crying, and now i'm possessed with this desire to ready my whole house, because you thought YOU'D go "late," and i think I'LL go late, and i'm so fixated on the fact that this baby won't come till 41 weeks at least that i keep forgetting that hey, I HAVE NO CONTROL OVER THAT NOW DO I.
omg robina. i am so happy and teary. i was showing alex the pictures of wren, and i've mentioned you and andy to him a few times since he and andy have all that weird stuff in common. having you be 3 weeks ahead of me in pregnancy was really wonderful for me, 'cause it was kind of like having this online big sister to look up to and see what's coming next. my brother was a grade above me in school, and i liked being that step behind him - i always knew what was coming next, and it wasn't too far away, but far away enough that i could focus on the present, ya know? so... it was kind of like that, only for pregnancy.
also, i dunno if i told you, but it's kind of your "fault" that i'm even pregnant at all, because any time anyone i knew, online or IRL, got pregnant, i would get grumpy with alex for not impregnating me yet and demand his sperm. and then i would get sad about my luteal phase defect and my lack of EWCM and the fact that i rarely ovulate, but demand lots of sex from alex so i could PRETEND that someday i might be able to get pregnant. and you just happened to get pregnant right in a window where i ovulated for the first time in eons, and if that hadn't been on my mind, i would not have been as seductive or blase about using condoms, so. THANK YOU. hahaha. okay, i'm gonna go clean now.
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